Vulnerable
Off to Bemis woods to march among the trees, breathing deeply-we often take Max there on the weekends for a stroll in the park. He loves leading us on the path down to the river so he can then throw rocks in the water. We follow him and attempt (not always successful) to keep him out of said water. This was also the scene of his heartbreaking bike crash,when he went down a hill and forgot (did he ever know?) how to use the brakes. He had minor scrapes and bruises- but we still have scars from that one.
So this Saturday was a perfect day for a walk. Just beautiful. We made sure he crossed the parking lot safely on his way to the bridge to look at the river. It was a holiday weekend so there were plenty of people and families enjoying the day.
We did not realize that the walkway that took him to the bridge had an intersection with a bike path. We were still in the parking lot when out of the woods shot a screaming man on a bike yelling at–guess who– Max. In his mind this guy was riding in the Tour de France so he wasn’t stopping. He thought Max was a typical teenager, listening to his music and not paying attention. At least thats what his profanity laced yelling told us. He did not brake even once. By the time we realized what was happening, Max was frozen looking back at us with anguish.
It seemed to happen in a second (ok-I guess it did) but in slow motion it took a minute or two for me to get to him and for Bill to “lose. his. sh*t”. He yelled after him “HE HAS AUTISM YOU ASSHOLE!” To which the guy responded by giving us the finger. This delightful man looked to be in his 40s. Think.about.it.
Max was scared I think more from Bills’ reaction than anything else. I said to nobody in particular “well that was fun”. The family on the bridge was kind in comforting us and although he was upset, Max did not have a full blown meltdown. Bill and I were shaking. I was close to crying. We gathered ourselves thanked the family and started on our walk.
Why was he going so fast? Why didn’t we see the possible danger? Why did Bill scream at him? Why wasn’t I faster? (Well, we all know the reason for that). Bill couldn’t believe his hair trigger response was so close to the surface. I couldn’t believe how fast our outing went down the sh*tter. And then of course the realization of how vulnerable Max is in ANY situation. We get comfortable in our routines and our expectations of him but every time we are brought up short like this it reminds of how vulnerable Max is and will be for the rest of his life. Well-if they find a pill to cure autism-but until then. Who will protect him when we can’t?